Real Men
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Only real men can date Elfman's sisters! And real men don't mooch off gracious hosts. - One-shot.


For as long as either could remember, when it came to their relationship, Lisanna was always the one to cook for Natsu.

Err, well, that wasn't quite right.

Rather, when they were kids, one day she made friends with a pink haired little boy in the guildhall who said that he didn't have enough jewels to buy anything from the bar and, in turn, she brought him home to her big sister Mirajane. Not pulling in hardly enough jewels to feed and house herself and her siblings, the oldest Strauss was weary about feeding the slayer, but he seemed thin as a rail and, though she tried very hard to maintain an evil veneer, Mirajane did have a heart.

It would just take a few years for it to fully develop.

That's how it all became, honestly. When Natsu wasn't off on a job and when the pair weren't fighting as young children tend to do from time to time, he would follow his best friend Lisanna home where her older sister would have some sort of soup or such waiting for the pair as well as Lisanna's older brother and herself.

Things stretched thinner still when a ravenous kitten was added to the brood.

Still, Mirajane did it without question and Lisanna continued to have him over for meals without thought. Before they'd scored that rundown shack of their own, Natsu and Happy found themselves crashing less in the guild dormitory and more over at the Strauss house where, for the most part, the pair pretty much considered Mirajane their big sister too!

But Elfman wasn't their brother.

He was Lisanna's brother and they could respect that, but he was not their brother.

Mirajane though, man, there was just something special about her. In a few years, after the horrible...the horrible… Everyone would realize it. They would see it. What Natsu and Happy and her siblings always had seen. It made Natsu happy to think about, nowadays, that everyone could celebrate the woman that meant so much to him all along, but it lost something special with it being so far out in the open.

Honestly, a lot of special things had died then, along with Lisanna. And though she was back then, though she was certainly alive and with them, where she belonged, there were certain things that had been forever buried with what they once thought was her.

One of those things was Natsu coming over for dinner.

For awhile, anyways.

As fast forming as their original friendship was, it was turning out that their overall relationship was a slow burn. It took years following Lisanna's return from Edolas for the pair to ever come to a consensus on exactly what they wanted from one another. Natsu had always been aloof about most things and Lisanna, now with a new lease on life, wasn't too into the idea of spending what she had left of hers chasing around any one specific guy.

Or any guys, really.

Mostly, for those first few years, Lisanna wanted to spend as much time rooting herself back into the fabric of Fairy Tail as possible. Not to mention the Strauss household. Because, though each accepted her once more with open arms, things had changed in her time away. Through no fault of anyone, time had passed and with it feelings, decisions, and people, even, honestly.

There was so much for her to become readjusted to herself that the idea of dating someone was a bit scary. Not to mention it would be the first time she officially had. And if her status around the hall had changed, so had her relationship with Natsu.

He was so different and yet so much alike his former self that it took her a long time to get a good read on him. She was sure he'd think the same thing about her if, you know, Natsu ever thought about anything. His life was one big whole impulse and Lisanna wasn't too sure what it was that one day made her the impulse, but she was thankful for it.

The summer had fallen upon them once more and Happy wanted to go fishing, but it was so hot out that he and Lisanna mostly just melted by the side of the river while the slayer fished for them, with some bickering between the feline and fire mage here or there.

Then, at some point, Happy drifted off under the shade of the tree and it was just Lisanna and Natsu sitting there, by the same river that had been coursing through their entire lives, it felt, and something just hit him then. She didn't know what. She didn't ask. But she could see it in the way that he sat up so suddenly and stared over at her with a hard look in his eyes.

"We should go somewhere," he decided with a nod of his head, continuing to hold the fishing pole between his hands. "After this."

"Where?" she'd asked back. She didn't completely understand what he was asking, honestly, and was more just questioning in general. "Natsu?"

"I dunno." And he didn't, at all. He was an honest guy too. Another one of his good qualities. "Just somewhere, is all. Without Hap."

The Exceed would have complained about this, had he not been snoozing away and not heard. So it was settled without his grumbling. And though they got a lot of it when he awoke, following a meal of the fish Natsu caught for them, he and Lisanna headed off to go walk alone in the park while Happy went to report back to anyone in earshot at the guildhall.

So it was and therefore it always will be.

Things had always felt natural between the pair and their ability to just fall into a relationship went along with that. There was no deeper meaning or context behind their relationship. They'd belonged together, fate had reunited them, and you just don't mess with things that are meant to be.

Another thing that was sparked once more by their interests being aligned again was, of course, Natsu mooching off the Strauss family.

At least that's what Elfman grumbled to his older sister one morning as the elder got breakfast ready.

"He's ate dinner here every single night this week," the overgrown man griped as he waited for his breakfast. "It's not right! It's not manly! He's dating my little sister. What do we look like? A soup kitchen? Get out there and provide!"

"Elf, calm down," Mirajane giggled as she continued to scramble eggs all about the skillet. "You'll wake Lisanna."

"She should be awake. She should hear this! What has this guild become, huh? Used to be full of men."

"When was that? Exactly?"

"Now just full of a bunch of freeloaders. Come over, steal our food." Then, making a face, Eflman nodded across the table. "No offense to you, Lucy."

The celestial mage was seated there, at the Strauss table, awaiting her own breakfast as well. "Oh, no, I'm not here for the food. I mean, Mira offered, but we're supposed to go-"

"We're going shopping!" Mira bounced a bit, glancing behind her to beam at her brother and best friend. "We're gonna buy all new dresses, Elf, for this ball that I've been invited to. Lucy's going as my date."

"Great," he grumbled with a shake of his head. "You too then, Lucy? Just date my sister and eat my food all the while I have to sit here and watch."

"I think you're misunderstanding," Lucy tried but Mira only cut her off.

"And I'd like to point out that you don't have to just sit here."

Oh, but he did. To both. Perhaps willfully on the misunderstanding and miserably on the staying around.

"Lucy's just going as my date so I don't have to go stag," Mira informed her brother. "Which is a terrible thing to do, you know."

"I'm not so sure a woman can go stag anyways," he offered as helpfully as he could. "But if she could-"

"I can."

"-what would it entail? That would be so awful?"

"Mmmm, mostly when I go to these sorts of things alone, I'm looking for new prospects," Mirajane said thoughtfully. "But the problem is that so many guys who also don't have a date come up and bother you that it makes it hard. And what if I'm interested in someone who has a date with them? I can't, you know, cut in if I don't have someone for their partner to dance with, can I? Then I just look rude. Basically, if I don't bring a date, then I can't scope out other future dates. Lucy here is just the best date ever because she doesn't expect anything at all out of me."

"Except our food," Elfman grumbled to which Lucy giggled, a bit uncomfortable then. "And what's this about prospects anyways, sis? What do you mean?"

"Oh, Elf, honestly, I give up." Finally coming over to set a plate before him, she rolled her eyes. "And people call me an airhead."

Still, something did come out of that early morning Strauss kitchen discussion. Elfman might not have found a sensible solution to his younger sister's dating or older sister's attempts to, but Lucy did pick up on something that she felt was her job to take care of.

"You really shouldn't just, you know, barge in on Lisanna's house so much," she chided Natsu later that day when, after shopping, she found he and Happy wasting time up at the guildhall. "It's really not-"

"Awe, Lucy," Happy snickered as he rested atop her head. "Are you jealous? That Natsu's all in love and happy and you're gonna die alone?"

The celestial mage scoffed before, shaking her head a bit to try and knock him off, she said, "I'll have you know that I have a very promising date coming up."

"Yeah, with Mirajane," the Exceed retorted. "It's probably a pity date."

"You know, cat, I don't see you up to your whiskers in dates either."

"I'm content in my friend's happiness," Happy replied. "So it doesn't matter."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself."

"Don't turn this around on me, Lucy. You-"

"Ay, Lucy, what did you mean?" Natsu asked as, finally, he lifted his head from where it had been pressed heavily down into the wooden table. "Seriously? About me going over to Lisanna's?"

"I just meant that, maybe, it gets on some people's nerves sometimes-"

"Some jealous people," Happy snickered, but both ignored him then.

"-you know, you going over there. Not contributing much. In a...manly way."

And that was the closest Lucy felt she could go without out flat out saying that it was getting on Elfman's nerves.

For a long moment, they all sat there as the slayer contemplated what she was saying.

"I don't follow," Natsu conceded with a shake of his head and, with a groan from the other table, Gray spoke up.

"She means that you're mooching off your girlfriend and her family, dragon brain," the other mage remarked as he shook his head over at them. "Even I know about it."

"Wait, how do you know?" Lucy asked with a frown.

"Elfman's been telling everyone who'll listen about how annoying it all is," he replied with a shrug. "And even those who're not listening."

"You clearly don't know what you're talking about, Gray," Natsu grumbled right back. "So maybe stay out of my business. Obsessive, much? Jeez."

"Maybe I wouldn't have to be in your business if you actually took care of your own business."

"How would you know if I didn't or if I did? Only if you were in it! Which is on you, idiot."

"Id- You're the idiot! You can't even figure out that you're imposing on your own girlfriend's family."

"Jokes on you, Gray. I don't even know what imposing means!"

"You're-"

"I think the point," Lucy said loudly then knowing they were soon headed to a brawl between the pair, "Natsu, is that it's not really setting a good precedent, you know?"

"No," Happy answered for him. "He doesn't know what precedent means either."

Natsu would have argued, but it would have been a losing battle. And the only person losing a battle would be Gray in a minute.

"I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, to find the three of you all here at once. It is, at the very least, a sign that you are once more neglecting your civic duty to take as many jobs as possible, to not only raise your own level of aptitude, but also help out your fellow-"

"Good afternoon, Erza," Lucy finally ventured because if neither of them did, they might have to continue listening to the scarlet woman's lecture. "I didn't realize you were still in town."

"Not for long," the woman said as, in her Gray's opinion, she took to lording over all of them a bit, standing there with her hands on her hips before the two tables. "For I am on my way out on one of those such jobs. I imagine at least one of the three of you wishes to accompany-"

"Actually, Erza, we're trying to convince Natsu of something right now," the celestial mage explained. "Maybe you could help. I mean, you don't know the situation-"

"Him mooching off Elfman and Mirajane?" Erza shrugged her shoulders a bit. "I too am privy to this information."

"What the heck? Does Elfman just go around talking about me behind my back to everyone now?" Natsu complained. "Doesn't sound too manly to me. Does it to you, Hap?"

"Not to me either, Natsu."

Erza only let out a long breath before saying, "Alright then. If you are all so desperate for my guidance-"

"I heard this come from no one's mouth," Gray muttered. "At all."

"-there is only one way to solve this problem that I can see," the woman went on. "As someone with much experience, I am glad you sought me out."

"Experience?" Natsu couldn't help but mutter some things as well. "In interrupting?"

"Imposing," Happy corrected with a snicker.

"Sought out is kind of a stretch too," Lucy offered. "Stumbled upon, maybe, but-"

" _I_ ," Erza went on with that tone of definite control that made the others shut right up, "think that the only thing that's left to do, Natsu, is for you to meet with Elfman, one on one, and fight for Lisanna's honor! And then all of you, including her, take jobs because there have just been far too many people lingering around the hall recently-"

"Yeah!" Natsu just about sprang to his feet in excitement over that decision. "Sounds like a great-"

"Horrible idea," Lucy interrupted. When this got a glare from Erza, she grinned sheepishly. "I mean, maybe with someone else, this would be a good idea, but Lisanna and her brother are very close and that just doesn't seem-"

"Here's an idea," Gray said then as it was clear Lucy wasn't going to save herself from the swordswoman's death glare. "How about you just stop barging in on the Strauss's Natsu? And just, you know, bother the one that you're actually dating."

"I don't like that idea as much," Happy snickered as he finally jumped off Lucy's head (there was no way he was getting taken out by Erza as well when her glares turned into something more). "Now, the one where Elfman and Natsu beat each other to crisps-"

"I don't remember asking Gray's opinion anyways," Natsu added.

"You try to help this idiot and what do you get in return?" the ice mage complained. "You know what? No. Go ahead. Fight her older brother. See how that turns out for you."

"I will."

"No," Lucy sighed. "Natsu, you won't."

"And why," Erza continued to glare at Lucy while asking, "won't he?"

"I just think that it won't end well for him if he does," Lucy defended, tossing her hands up too. "I mean, Erza, isn't it kind of antiquated for you to even suggest that? Fighting for a woman's honor? It doesn't sound like something you would think is still acceptable."

It wasn't. Not really. Except in the novel that she had read the previous night where it most certainly sounded like a very romantic. And ended in a very romantic night for the couple following the brother being bested. And, well, Erza didn't have to go into too much more detail because…

"Erza, are you always that red in the face?" Happy asked as he stared up at her from where he stood on the table. "Or-"

"Besides," Lucy continued as, somehow, she'd silenced the reequip mage for the moment. "I think that I have a far better solution, Natsu."

"Better than fighting Elfman?" Natsu punched the air. "I doubt it."

"One that saves you from having your girlfriend mad at you because you hurt her brother?" Gray snorted. "I'd listen to it if I were you."

"Well, you're not me, so-"

"Thankfully. I'm blessed simply for that fact."

"What's that supposed to mean, you stupid-"

"Why don't you," Lucy said loudly then to drown out the two men, "do for them what they've done for you, Natsu."

He and Gray were still busy glaring at one another, but Erza had recovered enough to look at the woman.

"What do you mean, Lucy?" she asked.

"Like, you know, Elfman's all put out by Natsu's constant dropping in, right?" Lucy asked. "And eating their food. That's his biggest one. So why don't you, Natsu, and Happy too, I guess, invite them over to your house? You could make them dinner and apologize and-"

"Uh, Lucy," Gray said with a frown. "You do remember what their house looks like, don't you?"

"Wha- Oh, no, I didn't think about that. Maybe, uh, invite them over somewhere else? Like out to eat or-"

"Actually," Natsu said with a definite nod of his head. "I'm going with your first suggestion, Lucy."

"I'd rather you not," she tried, but he only shook his head.

"Let me guess," Happy snickered. "Just because Gray doesn't like it?"

Natsu didn't answer, but then, did he really need to?

Lucy insisted, however, that they at least let her go over to their home and kind of clean up some before they invited anyone else over while she instructed Natsu and Happy to go to the market and decide what they wanted to cook.

Then, when they returned with just massive amounts of different meats, she went to the market herself and found something simple for them to prepare.

"There," she declared as they dropped the last ingredient in the pot, out over the fire they'd built behind the house. "Now, we're going to let that sit for a few hours while you two go and find all three of the Strauss siblings and invite them over."

"What are you going to do, Lucy?" Happy asked with a snicker into his palm. "Be lonely and regret being an unlovable person?"

He got a heavy glare for that before she remarked, "You know, one day you might say something like that to me and actually hurt my feelings."

Oh, he knew this was a possibility, but it was probably why he only made outrageous statements he knew weren't true at all. He'd never actually risk making her feel so lowly on herself.

"And besides," Lucy declared as she walked back to the guildhall with the pair. "I choose to be alone. You're the one still chasing after Car-"

"Awe, Lucy, that's low!" Happy cried before she could even finish. "Natsu!"

"Way to bring down the group, Luce."

"He's been saying way worse to me all day!"

"You're so rude, Lucy," Happy said with a shake of his head.

"Terrible friend," Natsu agreed.

But when she bid them goodbye outside of the guildhall it was with the plan to be able to go back to her apartment, completely alone, where she no longer had to worry about what antics the two were getting into.

Honestly, Lisanna dating Natsu was turning out to be the best and most delayed solution to a lot of Lucy's problems.

The Strauss siblings were actually rather easy to track down. Mirajane had arrived for her shift up at the bar, Elfman had arrived to spend the afternoon, apparently, complaining about Natsu, while Lisanna was downstairs doing inventory for her sister. Easy enough to go from one to one and suggest that they come over to their place for dinner that night.

Lisanna, initially, was rather overjoyed by the concept...until she found out that her siblings were coming as well.

"But why?" she asked as Happy giggled from her arms, where she'd taken to snuggling him up. He deserved it. "Invite the two of them, I mean? When it could, you know, just be us?"

"I'm not really sure," Natsu said after some deep thought. "Mmmm… Hap?"

"I think it's because Gray said it was a bad idea."

"Yep, that's it."

"Wait, so you're inviting me and my brother and sister over to dinner-"

"Because Gray said it's a bad idea, yes."

Lisanna was more than a bit lost and only stared hard at Natsu who stared with the same serious gaze as always right back which, of course, made her finally break and begin to giggle before leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek.

She wasn't too sure what his intentions were, but she knew that, coming from Natsu, they probably weren't too thought out, but definitely were thoughtful. And between the two, she'd take the latter every time.

That evening, Mirajane, Elfman, and Lisanna arrived together at the rundown house. Though Lucy had cleaned up the interior, there was little to be done with the random holes and other oddities that befell the tiny house and though perhaps its state would be of concern to another pair of siblings when going to dinner at their younger sister's boyfriend's abode, the background they came from was barely better. In fact, when Mirajane first purchased they house they'd spent the past few years fixing up, it was in far worse state.

Elfman did, however, judge the choice of beverage Natsu provided.

"No ale?" he asked with a heavy frown as, the second they stepped onto the property, Happy came over bearing bottles of soda. "Natsu?"

"Who drinks when they can eat?" the slayer asked excitedly. He and Happy had been instructed by Lucy to not only be on their best behavior (which she insisted included not fighting Elfman at any venture of the night) but also be gracious hosts.

"What does that mean?" Happy had asked with a frown.

"You know literally everything that you do whenever you come over to my place? Don't do any of it. Or you know the stuff that you do when I come over to visit? None of that either."

So basically she wanted them to have no fun, the Exceed was pretty sure.

"I do," Elfman complained a bit, but Natsu was already being distracted as Lisanna rushed to toss her arms around him and, after glancing over the fire pit where the stew was cooking, claiming him to be a marvelous party planner.

Mirajane, who went to investigate it as well, was not so quick to agree.

"Do you mind if I season this some?" she asked Natsu as she picked up a bottle of salt that sat beside the pit that Lucy had no doubt left. Because Natsu and Happy certainly didn't need it. Who tastes food when you can just shove it straight down your gullet? "Just a bit?"

"I don't-" he started, but Lisanna cut him off.

"Mirajane," she chided with a heavy frown. "This is Natsu's dinner party. Not yours. Now let's go inside and take a seat, huh? Unless you wanted to have dinner now, Natsu."

"I mean-"

"Great," Elfman said as he shoved passed all of them and headed into the rundown home. "I need a seat. Since I can't get a real drink."

With a sigh, Mirajane put the lid back on the pot before heading across the yard and to the door as well. "I guess we can all talk a bit, before dinner."

As Happy fluttered after the others though, Lisanna held Natsu in place for a moment as she asked, "Are you sure about this?"

No. He couldn't even really recall why Lucy was so insistent that he invite the Strauss' over in the first place. But he did care about Lisanna a whole bunch and remembered tha tit had something to do with that so…

"Of course," he told her as, with a grin, he moved to run into the house after the others, taking her hand as well. Dragging her along, he said, "What's better than having you guys over for dinner?"

Inside, Happy had led Mirajane and Elfman over to the tiny couch while he took to resting in the former's lap. Mira only giggled as he purred for her benefit when she scratched behind his ears. Lisanna and Natsu, upon joining them, only both fell into a chair across from the couch together, her in his lap, which got a huff from Elfman, but some more giggles from his older sister.

"This is some place you boys got here," Mirajane offered up as she took to looking around. "I really dig this vibe too."

"Vibe?" Happy asked curiously.

"Dig?" Lisanna questioned with a bit of disgust.

"Mmmhmm," Mirajane nodded. "You know, the candles. They smell great and give off a really old school cool type of-"

"Oh, no, we just don't have power."

Elfman made a face at Natsu's words. To the other man (though Elfman still strugged with the idea that, yes, Natsu was this), he asked, "What do you mean? No power?"

"I mean that we don't have power here."

"It doesn't take anything to get a generator lacrima and some-"

"I like it this way," Mirajane was quick to interject as Lisanna glared at her older brother. "Natsu. Happy. I think that it gives it a certain...aesthetic. It reminds me of the home we had when we were growing up. We didn't have it either, in our village."

"Yeah, Mirajane," Elfman complained, "but we grew up in the middle of nowhere. Natsu has to make some amount of money from jobs. A generator lacrima-"

"Can we talk about something else?" Lisanna asked, shifting a bit uncomfortably in her boyfriend's lap. "Please?"

"Fine," Elfman grumbled as he looked around again, to find something else to discuss. When Mirajane noticed him lingering on the big hole in the roof, she was quick to speak on it before he could.

"I love the skylight," she was quick to say.

"The what?" Happy asked, shifting so he could stare up at what she was. "Mira?"

"She means the hole," Lisanna said dryly as she was pretty done with both her siblings in the moment. She hadn't been sold on them coming to dinner to begin with, considering she'd have much rather had a date with just her and Natsu (and Happy too, yes, that was fine), but definitely not with her sister and brother around. She and Natsu rarely went on dates that couldn't also be called hanging out, so to get one of those for it to only be ruined by her siblings… "In the ceiling."

"Oh," Natsu said with a nod as he looked up at it too. "No, that's just what Lisanna called it, Mira. A hole in the ceiling."

"What do you do?" Elfman asked as he stared up at it as well. "When it rains?"

"I usually try and get out of it," Natsu replied simply.

"No, I meant-"

"Well," Lisanna said loudly then as she clasped her hands loudly together, getting the others all to stare at her. "This whole talking thing has been great, but do you think we could eat now?"

"I thought you wanted to-"

"Now?" Lisanna repeated over her boyfriend. "Please?"

Well, no one ever had to ask Natsu to eat twice.

Outside, Lucy had set up a table and some chairs in the yard, so they could eat under the stars. Natsu requested Happy's help with ladling the soup out while the Strauss siblings all went to take their seats.

"Would you both knock it off?" Lisanna hissed at her sibling as they were alone momentarily. "Please?"

"What?" Mirajane asked with a frown. "I'm having a great time."

"I'm doing anything wrong either," Elfman complained with a frown at his sister. "Being inquisitive is a crime now?"

"Being rude to my boyfriend will be from this point forth, yes."

"How are we being rude?" Mira asked. "Lisanna?"

"Just… Natsu's trying. And he doesn't normally try at things that aren't training or eating. So please-"

"Trying to what?" Elfman asked, but as his younger sister opened her mouth to answer, Natsu and Happy were coming over with bowls and, well, that ended that.

"Alright," Happy said as, taking a seat in Lisanna's lap, he rubbed his hands together. "Let's eat!"

Mirajane, who'd been restricted from any fixing of the soup, only grinned down at what looked like hot water, veggies, and some meat with absolutely no flavoring added at all. "Yes. Let's."

Elfman though only said, "So hey, Natsu, why'd you invite us over here, anyways? Just to serve us some soup?"

"Elf," Lisanna hissed again because clearly he just wasn't getting it that she did not want him to say anything, at all, until, oh, the entire dinner was over. "Would you knock it off?"

"I'm just asking-"

"And I told you to-"

"To be honest," Natsu said slowly as he thought. "I can't quite remember."

Happy, who'd been content with playing this up with Lisanna, frowned a bit to find that Natsu wasn't playing. He'd honestly forgotten. He wasn't sure if this made everything a disaster (though it felt like it was going that way regardless), but didn't think it could mean anything good.

"Well, we appreciate it, all the same," Mirajane told him with a smile. "Really. This is...great. The soup. Not needing anything at all to be added."

"Mira-" her sister griped, but Natsu was speaking again before she had the chance to finish her whining.

"But," he kept up as he sat up tall, "I know that it probably had to do with the fact that I care about Lisanna a lot. So that means that I care about you guys a lot too. Hap and me just wanted to show you that, is all."

There it was! Happy beamed with pride over it too. Natsu always was able to pull it out in the end. He didn't fail. Never. Always came through when it mattered most.

The next day, Happy and Natsu were all ready to head out on a job. A successful date with your girl, after all, got you all fired up! When they arrived at the hall though, all Lucy wanted to hear about was how the night before had gone.

"Okay, I guess," Natsu offered with a shrug. "I found out that my house is, like, way nicer than your apartment. Having a skylight and all."

"A what? Never mind," Lucy said, shaking her head. As they sat together at their usual table, she insisted from the two guys, "What did Elfman and Mira think?"

"About what?"

"Natsu," the celestial mage complained as she just about banged her head into the table in frustration. "About you having them over for dinner! Did they say anything? Like, about it? Elfman realized that you were doing it in good faith, right? To make up for all the times that you crashed their-"

"Oh, right." Natsu even nodded. Then, with a bit of a shrug, he informed her, "No, I forgot to mention that."

"Ugh," Lucy groaned as she was the one then to rest her head against the table. "This is all so hopeless."

"Don't worry, Lucy, your love life will look up" Happy offered as he reached over to pat at her head. "I'll still be friends with you, anyways, if you end up a lonely spinster."

"That's not what I was talking about cat," she complained as she glanced up at him. "And you know it."

Lisanna came over then though, as she was working the bar, to see if they needed anything (and to goof off with her boyfriend and friends), so the conversation was done with. In fact, it was kind of forgotten by Lucy as well for a bit until the day of the ball.

Arriving early so that she and Mirajane could get ready together, she was a bit surprised to find Natsu and Happy over as well, though that was to spend time with Lisanna.

It was when she went into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water for Mirajane (putting on makeup so exquisitely was hard work) that she found Lisanna and Natsu making sandwiches while Elfman stewed at the table.

At the sight of Lucy getting water, it was all he could do to not explode.

"Arg!"

Until he did explode.

Slamming his hands down onto the table, he caused the bowl of fruit sitting there to tumble off and the sound was enough to not only get everyone in the room to look at him, but also Happy flutter in and Mirajane, still only in her petticoat and tugging a shirt on.

"What happened?" she asked as Natsu and Lisanna stared in shock at Elfman and Lucy considered the quickest escape route. "Elfman, are you alright?"

It was with a ragged breath that he said, "I can't take it anymore!"

"Take what anymore?" Lisanna asked while Natsu, none too slyly, moved to just take a bite of his sandwich.

"That!" the muscular man growled as he pointed over at Natsu before at where poor Lucy was holding that glass of water for Mirajane. "Your dates aren't men! Constantly taking from this house as they please. What kind of manless loser does that? Huh?"

"W-Well, for one," Lisanna said slowly and to the snickers of Happy, "I don't think that Lucy and Mira are going on a real date."

"Real enough," Mirajane defended. "Although, being 'manless' is kind of how I want her."

"Elfman," Lucy said softly as, though she wanted desperately to blind into the background, that best friend protectiveness that Natsu used to protect her in battle came to play for her towards him in a totally different way. "I thought that since Natsu and Happy had you guys over to dinner that, you know, you saw that it went both ways."

"Both ways?" the man questioned. "Both ways? No way is it both ways! He's the man! He's supposed to be the one to provide. For my sister. The man is always supposed to...supposed...and make more jewels than… Why won't Evergreen just admit that we're dating?"

Now Natsu was really lost, but when he looked form his girlfriend to Lucy for help, neither seemed to know what was going on either. And Mirajane was shooing them all from the room then, as to get to the bottom of things.

They went to Mirajane's room, simply because Lucy's stuff was in there and she had to finish getting ready. While Lisanna and Natsu sat on the bed together and the celestial mage went into the adjoining bathroom to finish with that, Happy stood with his ear against the closed door, hoping to pick up on anything that he could.

At the sound of footsteps coming closer though, he fluttered over to the bed to join Natsu and Lisanna.

"Welp," Mira said as she came into the room alone, shutting the door softly behind her. "I have just had a heart to heart with Elfman."

"So you're not going to tell us what happened?" Lucy asked as she opened the door a smidgen to the bathroom and looked out at them all.

"Who said that?" Mira made a face at her as Happy snickered. Still, the woman came to sit on the edge of the bed, looking from her sister, her sister's boyfriend, her sister's boyfriend's Exceed, and then to Lucy who still wasn't sure how she fit into everything other than having the misfortune of Cana being deemed too much of a drunkard by Mirajane to be her date and Erza being too on par with her beauty.

Actually, playing back to Erza thing in her head, Lucy was pretty sure Mira had insulted her…

"Apparently," the barmaid in question was going on then, "the reason that Elfman has been harping so much on Natsu...mooching-"

"Oh yeah!" Natsu bounded out of the bed then making Lisanna frown at him. "I forgot about that! How dare he say that? He-"

"Let me finish," Mirajane insisted with a frown. "I was saying that the reason he was saying those things recently was because...well… Elfman struggles sometimes with compartmentalizing things and sometimes struggles with his emotions and, well-"

"Mira, get to it." Lisanna was super curious as well, it seemed. She didn't know about he whole 'mooching' thing, which she wasn't too happy to hear about, but her drive for gossip was outweighing her discontentment. "What was it that he said?"

Taking a deep breath, Mira, in one fell swoop, got it all out.

"Evergreen told Elfman that the reason they can't officially date is because he's not man enough for her because she's vindictive, I guess, and didn't realize this would completely destroy him and when searching for reasons that she might think this, he decide it was because she was a more profitable mage than him and therefore unable to provide, which he then turned around on you and Natsu, Lucy, as not providing properly for me and Lisanna which made him jealous."

For a moment, they were all silent.

Then, from the bathroom, Lucy gave in as she said, "He's right. I can hardly pay my rent this month."

"That's so sad," Happy told Mirajane as Lisanna, also saddened by this, pulled him into her arms for a snuggle. "How come Evergreen thinks Elfman's such a terrible person to be with? He's super manly!"

Shrugging, Mirajane said, "Whatever her reason is between her and herself. You can't make someone else like someone, Happy."

"Like how Lucy can't con you into helping her not be forever alone on this date of yours?"

"Listen, cat-" Lucy complained from the bathroom, but Mirajane, with a giggle, cut her off.

"Who knows?" she said with bright eyes. "Maybe Lucy will sweep me off my feet tonight."

"Yeah," Lisanna questioned, "but she won't be able to provide for you, so-"

"Maybe I should just go beat some sense into Elfman," Natsu suggested as he punched at the air. "Show him what it really means to be a man!"

"Yeah!" Happy said. Then, taking a glance at the faces of Lisanna and Mirajane, he said, 'I mean, no?"

"He's going through a lot, Natsu," Mira chided. "And I just painted the kitchen and living room. You two might mark it up."

"Or destroy the place completely," Lucy called from the other room.

It was hard for any of them to disagree with that sentiment.

A knock at the bedroom door got them all quiet though as, once it was pushed open, Elfman was sticking his head in.

"Uh, hey, guys," he said as he came further into the room. "Lucy? Are you here too?" It was only once she called out that she was from behind the bathroom door that he said, "I thought that I should...well...a real man can apologize when he's pushing off his real feelings onto innocent bystanders. Mirajane helped me to realize that I wasn't upset about you mooching- Although you are moochers. I was upset because of my own personal issues. And it's not manly to keep such things bottled up and then explode on people who don't deserve it."

"I think it should be explained, again, that I haven't mooched anything," Lucy tried from the bathroom. "And actually only tried to help the situation-"

"Let's make amends, Elfman." Natsu's fist was engulfed in flames then as he gestured towards the other man. "With a duel!"

And if there was anything to get him out of his dire straits, it was that.

Mirajane made them fight outside though, as she and Lucy finished getting ready, while Lisanna headed off for her shift at the bar. Happy watched them though, for awhile, before he realized he was missing out on teasing Lucy over her dress and, well, that was a lot more entertaining than what was going on between the two wizards.

It was only after they'd both worn themselves out that, resting in the grass, Natsu found himself speaking to the other man.

"Hey, Elfman?" he called over as he sat there, rubbing at where the bigger man had clobbered him one good in the head.

"Yeah?" Elfman grumbled, still a bit out of breath as he laid out in the grass. "What is it?"

"You aren't gonna be all weird now, are you?" the slayer asked. "Now that your sister and I are dating?"

"Lisanna deserves a man," Elfman said simply.

"Lisanna deserves to make her own choices. And if she's made one about me, why can't you respect that?"

Considering this for a moment, the other man said simply, "I guess...I guess since Lisanna got back, I never considered how I would feel when she… Before our father died, I promised him I'd look out for my sisters. And sometimes, these days, it feels like they just don't need it anymore. So I try in other ways to force my way in certain things. I don't think I'll ever really like any one taking Lisanna away from me again, but… If someone has to do it, I guess I should be glad it's you. Other than me, there's not many real men in that guildhall. But you're pretty dang close."

For a moment, they only both laid there, in the grass, before Natsu shoved up and said, "You ready to go again or what? Not man enough?"

And Elfman yelled a bit as he popped back up and get into a fighting stance. As they began sparring once more, indoors, Lucy glanced out from a window out at them as she and Mira were about ready to head out.

"The boys look like they're getting along together," she told Mira before grimacing as they began taking swings at one another once more. "I think."

"Boys will be boys and all those other stupid old idioms," Mira told him as, over by her vanity, she started to finish up her hair. Happy, from where he sat on the bed, bounced a bit with a giggle. "Elfman and Natsu aren't too different. They both reject change at first and then, after having it for awhile, become adjusted to the new thing and can't imagine not having it. Besides, they both have the biggest thing to bond over."

"What?" Lucy asked, looking away from the window then. "Mira?"

"Lisanna, of course," Happy interject to which Mira nodded.

Grinning as well, Lucy said, "Well, I'm glad it all worked out then."

"Except for you," the feline reminded with a snicker. "You're still alone."

"Alone?" Mira made a face over at the cat as, finished with her hair, she came to offer her arm to Lucy. "She's got a date right here. And, hopefully, by the end of the night, I'll have a week's worth!"

"Aye," Happy conceded.

Getting up then as, clearly, his time with the women was up, his wings appeared as he fluttered after then. When Mira stopped off outside to tell her brother goodbye (and narrowly miss being burnt to a crisp by Natsu), Happy only hovered next to Lucy, resisting the urge to nestle on her head and mess up her carefully prepped hair.

"I hope you and Mira have fun," the Exceed offered as, dropping to the ground, he stared up at Lucy. "I think that you look nice in your dress."

Making a shocked face, Lucy grinned as she said, "Thank you, Happy. I-"

"And I hope that you find someone who likes you too," he went on. "So you don't end up all alone and a spinster."

Her face soured then as she stared down at him. "Oh."

"I hear spinster's like cats and I'd feel, you know, obligated to hang around you-"

"Oh, because you'll be all alone too? Without Car-"

"Natsu, Lucy's being mean again!"

But after the girls were gone and Happy, bored without them there, took to missing having Lucy around to joke with (torment), Natsu and Elfman eventually tidied up their fight. As Natsu went to get Happy up so they could head out though, Elfman called out to him, stopping him.

"Hey, Natsu," he called out, getting the slayer to glance back at him. "Tell me something, huh?"

"What's that?" he asked right back from across the yard.

"You and Lisanna… You're not gonna hurt her, are ya? Because one man to another, I'd have to probably give you a real thrashing if you ever do."

Grinning widely at the other man, Natsu only said, "I definitely won't, but if you ever want that thrashing, give me a holler."

"Won't be hard when you're over every single second," Elfman took to grumble, as if habit.

But Natsu, with a wave, set out with Happy. Over his shoulder, he agreed, "Won't be hard at all."


End file.
